I just had to share

I achieved something really awesome that I've wanted to do for a long time. My sense of achievement and "rightness" is off the scale right now.
I completed my reiki level 1 today.
New awakenings have already begun.

ANZAC Day

So, it is only the wee hours of the morning and i'm glad that I don't have to get up for the dawn service, as I would resemble a zombie (more so than usual).
I do want to thank all armed service personnel that protect our way of life now, sacrificed their lives in the past for my way of life now and their ongoing commitment to my country's way of life in the future.
There is a strong military connection in my family. My little brother was in Afghanistan and I thank him for his dedication and action. It wasn't easy.

We really are very lucky. Taking time each day to give thanks and show kindness is the least we can do to repay those who gave their lives, were willing to risk their lives and those who will serve in the future. Thank you.

Lest we forget.

Saturday Night - First EVER date night!

Yes, after over 10 years together, and nearly 5 years of marriage - our first ever date night. Turns out when you don't see each other every day you put in a bit of effort! Who would have thought?

We saw Noah tonight - we both quite enjoyed it. That in itself is unusual as we don't tend to like the same movies, songs, foods, hobbies or anything really! Opposites attract.

This week has been crazy. So crazy I cannot in fact recall much of what has happened at all. Oh yes I can! It was crazy busy because my sister was down for a week long whirlwind visit! YAY! I love when my sister comes to visit. It's exhausting but I love it. And the worm loves her Aunty. And, instead of just chocolate for Easter, I also scored 2 new pairs of jeans, now that i'm a bit skinnier and apparently it's not cool to go out wearing your compression gym pants ;)


I did make these. Not sure if I've already shown you.

And I've been creative... So here goes. Enjoy your Saturday night peeps.

The beast flies high & mighty in the sky

Roaring in triumph but for what, who knows

The silent battle where the real fight lies

Hidden by the anger and fury on the outside

Beneath the volcano at the base of the mount

My old friend anger sits poised to pounce

You should be retired now old friend of mine

Not risen once more to do battle within my mind

The time for peace must be now

Or forever doomed to this cycle I'll be

Go rest old friend, let the dragon sleep

My hear grows weary and my soul it weeps

Forget the pain, you have seen me through it

The hurt is gone, that rage now useless

Sleep until I needs battle again

I must find your twin your opposite end

I seek peace and love, your shelter no more

A fear I must face to move beyond this place

No fear is greater than fear itself

Mine is mighty, but so too am I

Come down now dragon come down from on high

I seek slumber and rest, your life force is mine

Now moving forward to a place of the divine

Refill your cup, let it overflow now

Your time is at its end

You will be remembered dear friend

Embrace the light, the birds fly free

And I with them, they will lead me to be.

ETSY - it's time to get this stuff happening

OK. Anyone an expert on ETSY shop set up etc? 
All input would be welcome.
I shall start trawling through their how to's and help as of tomorrow. 
But seriously, I'm going to bed now!

Sunday. Good old reliable Sunday.

Yep. Once a week, every week, Sunday comes around, and all too quickly it goes again.
Kind of like a sale at your favourite store - you hang out till pay day but by then, all the good stuff is gone. Ever time. Without fail.
Sundays in our house are pretty average to be honest. I want Sunday to be family fun day, or family day, or just fun day. Seems that by Sunday we are exhausted, except for the 3 year old energizer bunny that doesn't know Sunday is for chillaxing!

After kid wrangling for 6 days in a row, I am exhausted by Sunday, and I want to spend at least a week in bed. Not likely as there is SO much to do! And our house is one of those good old fixer upperers that leave you feeling overwhelmed before you've even begun. Hence why very little has been done in the 9 years we've lived here. Hence why I think I'm on the verge of a break down.
I have several 'diabilities' (although i don't like to think of them as that) that physically restrict what I can and can't do. It is beyond frustrating wanting to get things done and your body saying ' bahahahahahahahahahahaha in your dreams! Back to bed you go!'. And then to wake up and find that instead of the cleaning fairies paying you a visit, the garbage goblins have trashed your house. So all hope of actually getting anything done is out the window, because you first need to clean the goblin mess.

Is it any wonder then that I am worn out, run down and running on less than fumes? I'm a wreck.
Regardless of this fact, I have decided that I must persevere. I must set a good example, and I must set that by leading by example. I am sick of trying to motivate others. I am over waiting for certain people to help me out. If it must be done, it must be done by me. I guess that also pacifies my control freak nature too!

I have a kitchen that I really really really don't like. My other half liked it, wanted it, and somehow he and his mum came home with it and then he and his brother in law installed it. Now, I'm a shorty. I hit 5ft tall. I wear heels alot. I can't reach half the damned cupboards! And the colour is so dark and oppressive and there are doors that don't shut and drawers that don't shut and I can't see the back of ANY of the cupboards. Oh, I just had an idea - those touch/sensor led lights, I am so going to get a heap of them, and whilst I'm at it, I'm gonna get some for my wardrobe too, can't see a damned thing in there either (or reach the top shelf!).

So, I've started the prep coat on the cupboards (no sanding required!) I've probably talked about this before. I am ultra excited to be finally doing something I've wanted done. It sucks that I have to do it but I'm going to be really proud of myself when it's done. And I can say - just because I have 'disabilities' does not mean I do not have worth as a human being or as a member of society.

That's the problem with labels, they aren't always helpful. If I act 'happy & health' (the chronically ill know that being 'well' is a mental battle that never ends) then people assume I'm fine or worse, that I'm a lazy, attention seeking whinger. But if I act how I truly feel (you don't want me to go there, trust me) then people tell me a) how ill I look and I should be resting (cue pity etc), b) people tell you to 'just snap out of it', 'just smile and things will be ok' or c) the head game starts to get the one up on you and you can't cope. It's a bitch of a 'catch 22'. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
And heaven forbid if you get genuinely ill with the flu or bronchitis or something. Your body doesn't want to know about it, that's for sure. And it's hard to get anyone to take you seriously because of all of the above.

So, even though I'm 'normal' sick I must soldier on. Those cupboards aren't going to paint themselves and let's face it, I'm not going to get a rest until I end up in hospital so I might as well go hard until then! (I've got that self deprecating, sarcastic look on my face).

Now, time for some prose....

A flip of the coin
Your life changes around
Tossed into the sky again
Time twists, warps, bends
Slowly readjusting
The locations are all new
Have you found your footing yet
Time to toss the coin again

I got more but the need for sleep is winning.
Have a great week all xoxxo

Absence does make the heart grow fonder

Who would of thought that the old saying 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' actually has some truth to it? Unbelievable right? But still, very very true.

I mean, at the end of the day, when you tuck your small children into bed (3 year olds are channeling the devil) you know that you won't see them for a few hours at least (well, you pray that you won't see them for at least a few hours) and that makes you forget all the things they did during the day - like wanting to know WHY, and 'where is that persons mummy' 'is that car racing us' 'drive faster' 'where are they going, who do they live with, what's their name, i want to see my best friend, why can't I eat chocolate until i burst etc etc etc and fifty bazillion other annoying things (apparently bajillion isn't a number but a bazillion is... huh) and you're all like ' aw, i can't wait to give them a cuddle when they wake up (in 12 hours time other wise mummy is going to need a padded cell or a bottle of wine).

Yet often, the reverse is true of our partners. THEY get to go to work 5 days a week. I'm a stay at home mum, so I don't get to go have adult conversation. I'm living, breathing and thinking for and like a 3 year old. So when I then bombard my partner with 50 million questions about the outside world, because Jimmy Giggle and Dirt Girl really don't know that much about current affairs and the answer I get is 'I dunno. Ok I guess. It was alright. Not much' followed by 'what's for dinner' I start to wish that the person who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with would just go the hell away!
But wait, there is a catch. They can only go away if and when it suits ME.*thump* Sorry, I just fell to the floor as I was laughing so hard! AS IF!

ME has been forgotten, pushed aside and shoved in a dark corner in the furthest recesses of the universe. I can't even go to get milk and bread without a struggle. My 3 year old is like a clip on koala - her legs work just fine but I always get 'pick, pick, pick me up mummy' or even worse 'race me mummy' but don't even think about getting close to her because if she doesn't win, the world has ended. You know how I know that the world has ended? The antichrist has returned and is acting through my child, in the carpark!
So if I don't get adult conversation from the other adult I live with and instead I get more 3 year old type questions and then they think that they are going to go and have a life - um, NO FREAKIN' WAY! Apparently then I am being unreasonable. This coming from the man child having a very 3 year old tantrum. Righto.

So slowly you get sick of the thought of them coming home blissfully ignorant to my plight of 3 year old hell. You know that instead of getting a team mate, so you can tag out for a bit, you're gaining another child. Except this one can't be sent to time out. This one cannot be bought off with a toy or chocolate. This one has money and a car and an attitude too (although the attitude pales in comparison to the 3 year old!). It is beyond infuriating. And then they have the audacity to go and have additional adult interactions! The nerve!

Anyway, I think I digressed somewhere near the start of this story. So, having some time apart from your partner really is like a holiday. You know everything has been done, once the 'devil' is in bed you don't have to get up and find anything for anyone, or do anything for anyone. You don't have to ask 20 times if the dogs have been fed or the bins have been taken out, because you just did it to start with so you know it's been done, and done right.
Now you actually get to experience something similar to 'relaxation'. It's great. I don't know what the real thing is but this shadow of it is just the bees knees! So the absence of my man child for a few nights makes me want to speak to him, because when we talk, it's about adult stuff. And i don't have 20 million stupid things that I have to do like get up and help find the milk or something stupid like that! (Even the 3 year old can find the milk!!!).

So, I think every stay at home parent, or the main parent in a family with children should have a night off. Every single week. And ME should never be too far away. And if your partner gets to be with his ME all the time and you have forgotten what your ME looks like, take the time to find it. It is good for both of you, and as the old saying goes 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' and I no longer want to rip his face off at the mention of cricket or some other sport or 'grown up thing' that he might be enjoying whilst I am stuck watching telly tubbies or in the night garden and explaining why lala doesn't have a mummy or daddy at home.

Put your feet up, have a drink and drift off to wonderland (don't get confused and go to neverland, it's populated by boys who don't want to grow up and that's what you're trying to escape from at home!).